This is the first in a four-part series exploring essential skills and mindsets for building trusted partnerships with your stakeholders. Stakeholders can be a goldmine of valuable information, resources and support. Yet stakeholder engagement strategy is often reduced to a clinical process of mapping and assessing and project managing. Yet within that process are real, live people.
"Oh, you’ve come all the way from D.C.," Dave said. "I see. And I guess you’re gonna tell us how to do it right?"
My client, Angie, had asked me to find opportunities with stakeholders to improve implementation of her company’s sustainability goals. I’d flown halfway across the country to interview suppliers, competitors, NGOs, government agencies and employees. I’d painstakingly crafted a comprehensive list of interview questions and an intro script, all neatly attached to a clipboard which I carried fastidiously "into the field."
"No sir," I responded to Dave, my client’s supplier. "I’m just here to get your perspective so Angie can do things better."
"And who are you?" he asked, tight-lipped.
He wouldn’t say another word until I gave him my bona fides, which included having once worked in operations, in the same field as his. Strangely enough, that wasn’t good enough. He didn’t just want my professional credentials. He also wanted to know if I was a Washington Nats fan, whether I voted for Trump, and what kind of dogs I have (Aussie mutts, if you must know).


Building trust, at its core, requires taking a risk.

It turns out that the question, "And who are you?" is a fundamental building block of trust. Building trust, at its core, requires taking a risk. The Trusted Advisor Fieldbook defines the "Trust Equation" as:

Trustworthiness = (Credibility + Reliability + Intimacy) / Self-Orientation
In this context, credibility is about what you know and how you say it. You can become more credible by acquiring deep subject matter expertise and by expressing that expertise honestly. In this case, the fact that I came from the same industry as Dave helped him to see me as somewhat credible.
Reliability means just what it sounds like, doing what you say you’re going to do. Over and over and over. In this case, I had no way of demonstrating reliability. Often though, we are interacting with the same stakeholder or advisory group over an extended period of time. Things such as being on time for meetings, following through on action items you promised to do, setting and meeting expectations and taking responsibility when you can’t, are what make people think of you as reliable.
This brings us to intimacy and self-orientation, the two areas that the Trusted Advisors’ research show are most commonly lacking. Whereas reliability and credibility are skills many of us find easy to develop, intimacy is a lot about opening up on a personal level and being vulnerable enough that the other person sees you as authentic, human. Intimacy makes the other person feel safe enough to share things that otherwise could come back and bite them. Empathetic listening helps create intimacy. And, as simple as it may sound, so does letting down your hair. In this case, once Dave knew that I liked baseball (even though he rooted for the rival Braves), he no longer saw me as a scary stranger.


Once Dave knew that I liked baseball, he no longer saw me as a scary stranger.

Finally, we come to self-orientation, in other words, focusing on your own needs or wants instead of the other person’s. Simply put: The more you focus on yourself in the interaction, the less the other person will trust you. One way to manage your self-orientation is by asking the other person lots of questions to understand what really makes them tick. Another way is to use empathetic listening, even when it is really hard to sit there while they say stuff you might not want to hear.

By contrast, talking too much and being opaque are surefire ways of screwing up the "S" in the Trust Equation.  Admittedly, I love to gab. Luckily, Dave must have thought my transparency and curiosity outweighed the constant yammering, because we ended up having a fruitful and open conversation.
My interaction with Dave was transactional, but still required a level of trust to get his honest feedback. For building longer-term relationships, the Trusted Advisor offers the following principles:

1. Focus on the other.
2. Take a collaborative approach.
3. Take a medium to long-term relationship perspective.
4. Make it a habit to be transparent.

Test the Trust Equation yourself, and see how your most valued stakeholder relationships improve.
Note: Names and ancillary details have been changed to protect the innocent.

In the first of a four-part series, we explore some essential skills and mindsets you and your team can build trusted partnerships with your stakeholders.
For the corporate sustainability leader, stakeholders can be a goldmine of valuable information, resources and support. They can help you manage issues before they blow up and find innovative ways to solve the most complex of challenges. Stakeholder engagement strategy is often reduced to a clinical process of mapping and assessing and project managing. But within that process are real live people, and dealing with us humans can be messy.
"It’s not what you hear by listening that’s important; it’s what you say by listening that’s important." — Thomas Friedman
I was talking to Joe, a procurement guy at my client Mary’s company. Mary, head of CSR, was developing a new sourcing policy, which she hoped would make her company a sustainability leader in her sector. She asked me to facilitate a meeting with a group of external stakeholders to discuss the draft policy and she invited Joe and some other colleagues in to answer any questions. I liked Mary a lot: she was visionary, bold and sincere. I was rooting for her all the way. 
I liked Joe, too — he was a real team player. During the meeting, he was completely engaged, affable and answered all the questions the right way. This was about leadership, doing the right thing, meeting the customers’ expectations. The group was duly impressed, singing the praises of the policy. Success. We took a break.


But how had we gotten so far down the path without uncovering this issue?

Joe grabbed a coffee and went off by himself to a couch in the corner of the lobby corridor. I joined him. We got to chatting about the policy. He repeated a lot of the things he said in the meeting:  we were on the right track, doing the right thing; the company was showing great leadership. As he talked, he slunk down more and more into the couch, his eyelids grew heavy, his shoulders slumped.

"You look tired, Joe," I said. "Is everything OK?"
"I’m fine, thanks, just have a lot on my plate," he responded, sitting up a little straighter.
We got to chatting about his thousands of work responsibilities, how he had just lost some staff, how he was not spending enough time at home with his young children as a result. As we talked, his whole body seemed to loosen up, his once impassive face had become quite animated.
"And how will this new policy impact you?" I asked him, truly curious. I really had no idea.
He let out a deep sigh. This once mild-mannered, company man leaned in close to me, his voice now loud and full of energy, his hands perpetually moving. He told me about how onerous the procurement process they were using was, how much extra paperwork he had to fill out, all the signoffs and approvals he had to get which he didn’t think really affected the results. He was afraid that if even one more requirement was added, as the policy proposed, he and the process would break. He sounded frustrated, almost angry, although he never said anything disloyal about the company or Mary.
"Can you walk me through the steps you have to take now? I’d love to learn more about the details," I said.
As he explained the procurement journey, we brainstormed together why certain things were done certain ways, and he came up with some excellent ideas on how to make it easier and more efficient.  Coffee break was almost over, and he was sitting up straight, lively, smiling. He had revealed a big potential pitfall to the strategy and had come up with lots of great solutions, in less than 30 minutes.
But how had we gotten so far down the path without uncovering this issue? It’s not like Mary didn’t ask for his input; she had circulated the draft to all the key internal stakeholders and asked for feedback before the meeting, just as the stakeholder engagement process required. She met with her colleagues and addressed all the concerns raised, reiterating how well the new policy would position their company in the marketplace. So what went wrong? It appears that, for whatever reason, no one brought the procurement issue to her attention, at least not in so many words.


Empathetic listening helps us discover what our user or stakeholder sometimes does not even consciously know.

In organizational coaching, we use empathetic listening to go beyond the words to find the meaning. Listening like this, according to Co-Active Coaching, includes "everything you can observe with your senses: what you see, hear, smell and feel — the tactile as well as the emotional sensations." It requires us to be fully present, to be very curious about the other person and to trust our intuitions. 

Some of the lucky few are naturally good at empathetic listening, but most of us, including myself, must learn this skill and consciously practice it over and over to get good. Our tendency, when we listen, is to focus internally on our own thoughts and judgments. Sometimes we are defensive. Other times we hear the literal words but do not grasp, or understand the value of, the emotion underlying the words.  
With design thinking, a human-centric design approach sometimes used to create social impact collaborations, we might apply tools such as ethnographic interviews and 360 Empathy to identify the unmet, unarticulated needs of the user. This helps us co-create the best solutions. Such an approach requires empathetic listening to surface the deeper issues and delve into the non-rational side of human behavior. Empathetic listening helps us discover what our user or stakeholder sometimes does not even consciously know about their own needs or wants. 
Mary’s approach, commonly used by the most well-intentioned, smartest of people, did not allow her stakeholders to express their underlying needs. As a result, she would have had a lot of problems executing it. Joe’s valuable insights helped us reconfigure the policy and implementation process to get the best outcomes. Empathetic listening gets us to the heart of the matter.

Dawn Rittenhouse, Director of Sustainability for the DuPont Company, has a wealth of experience working with environmental organizations and other stakeholder groups. She’s been with the company since the 80’s and, in 1997, began helping DuPont businesses to integrate sustainability into their strategies.

Like many corporations, DuPont’s first major foray into formally engaging with NGOs was driven by crisis, one after the another. In the beginning, the company’s aim was to come to terms with the environmental campaigners to resolve the challenge du jour and get out of the headlines. Over time, as they built trusting relationships, DuPont’s leadership came to see these organizations as partners who could help them get ahead of potential issues and even help to grow the business. 

For example, Dupont had this idea to create a salmon aquaculture food based on a GMO process that would reduce pressure on wild fish populations. Before investing in the R&D, they ran the idea by several environmental and conservation organizations and scientists. DuPont wanted to understand what steps it needed to take to make the idea environmentally friendly on all fronts. The business sought input from these outside experts throughout the product development process. By the time DuPont commercialized the concept, it had very strong NGO support.

​I asked Dawn to share her top tips for companies effectively engaging with stakeholders:

1. The goal of your first meeting with an external stakeholder should be to get another meeting. Don’t go into it wanting to convince the other side that you’re right! Aim to listen enough so that they’ll want to talk to you again. 
2. When you’re engaging with a non-profit organization, understand that their time is their money. Before you meet, envision win-win scenarios that help them progress their agenda. Don’t waste their time.
3. Understand the business model of the NGO before you start. Some need to create drama and headlines to raise funding and so may be more adversarial. Others have track records of quietly partnering with corporations to reach common goals.  A leopard doesn’t change its spots, so be prepared.
4. Help your internal stakeholders – your leadership and colleagues in the businesses – understand that you and the NGO may want the same outcomes but have different ideas of how to get there. Help your colleagues look for areas of commonality and early agreement before diving into the more controversial topics.
5. Get your leadership and colleagues in the businesses “into the field” to experience first-hand how the issue being raised by external groups looks and feels like.
6. There are at least two fundamental types of engagements: one to gain perspective and understanding and another to get advice.  Understand which type of engagement you’re after before you start. Advisory panels are very useful, but it can take a long time to get them enough up to speed on your business that they can offer practical advice.
7. When creating an advisory board, choose credible experts that are critical of your approach but are also open-minded enough to co-create solutions
8. Before meeting with an NGO on an issue, know what your company has done! In big global companies with lots of business lines, things may have happened or are happening now on the issue of which you might not be aware. Check in with the businesses and public affairs before talking to the NGO.

 
If you want to hear more from Dawn on ways to get the most value out of your stakeholder engagement, join us Aug 7, 12-1 PM for a free webinar.

Dawn Rittenhouse, Director of Sustainability for the DuPont Company, has a wealth of experience working with environmental organizations and other stakeholder groups. She’s been with the company since the 80’s and, in 1997, began helping DuPont businesses to integrate sustainability into their strategies.

Like many corporations, DuPont’s first major foray into formally engaging with NGOs was driven by crisis, one after the another. In the beginning, the company’s aim was to come to terms with the environmental campaigners to resolve the challenge du jour and get out of the headlines. Over time, as they built trusting relationships, DuPont’s leadership came to see these organizations as partners who could help them get ahead of potential issues and even help to grow the business. 

For example, Dupont had this idea to create a salmon aquaculture food based on a GMO process that would reduce pressure on wild fish populations. Before investing in the R&D, they ran the idea by several environmental and conservation organizations and scientists. DuPont wanted to understand what steps it needed to take to make the idea environmentally friendly on all fronts.
The business sought input from these outside experts throughout the product development process. By the time DuPont commercialized the concept, it had very strong NGO support.

I asked Dawn to share her top tips for companies effectively engaging with stakeholders:

1. The goal of your first meeting with an external stakeholder should be to get another meeting. Don’t go into it wanting to convince the other side that you’re right! Aim to listen enough so that they’ll want to talk to you again. 
2. When you’re engaging with a non-profit organization, understand that their time is their money. Before you meet, envision win-win scenarios that help them progress their agenda. Don’t waste their time.
3. Understand the business model of the NGO before you start. Some need to create drama and headlines to raise funding and so may be more adversarial. Others have track records of quietly partnering with corporations to reach common goals.  A leopard doesn’t change its spots, so be prepared.
4. Help your internal stakeholders – your leadership and colleagues in the businesses – understand that you and the NGO may want the same outcomes but have different ideas of how to get there. Help your colleagues look for areas of commonality and early agreement before diving into the more controversial topics.
5. Get your leadership and colleagues in the businesses “into the field” to experience first-hand how the issue being raised by external groups looks and feels like.
6. There are at least two fundamental types of engagements: one to gain perspective and understanding and another to get advice.  Understand which type of engagement you’re after before you start. Advisory panels are very useful, but it can take a long time to get them enough up to speed on your business that they can offer practical advice.
7. When creating an advisory board, choose credible experts that are critical of your approach but are also open-minded enough to co-create solutions
8. Before meeting with an NGO on an issue, know what your company has done! In big global companies with lots of business lines, things may have happened or are happening now on the issue of which you might not be aware. Check in with the businesses and public affairs before talking to the NGO.

 
If you want to hear more from Dawn on ways to get the most value out of your stakeholder engagement, join us Aug 7, 12-1 PM 12-1 PM for a free webinar.